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What Does "Speaking Your Partner's Love Language" Mean?

Have you heard about "speaking someone's love language?" What does that mean and how can you do it? It's really quite simple when you pay attention to your loved ones.

love language

What Does It Mean?

Let's start with what it means to speak someone's love language. It doesn't necessarily mean that you use specific words to communicate your love. It has been determined there are five different ways in which people show their love as well as how people prefer to receive love. Learning how your loved ones prefer to receive love can make a big difference in understanding and supporting each other.

What Are The Different Languages?

The five different categories of love language include:

  • Words
  • Touch
  • Time
  • Gifts
  • Acts

Let's look at these a little more in-depth.


"I love you," "thank you," "you're doing great," "you look amazing," these are how to communicate your love to those whose love language is words of affirmation. Whether spoken or written (yes, texts count), those who communicate their love via words feel they are understood and appreciated when they are told how their partner feels.


Those whose love language is touch find physical affection like holding hands, cuddling, hugging, and kissing to be the best ways to communicate their feelings. Be sure that everything is consensual and your loved one will feel the warmth and comfort they crave.


Hanging out, being in the moment, and having undivided attention is important to those whose love language is time. Camping, playing sports, or cooking together, it doesn't really matter what the activity is as long as it is spent with the ones they love.


For those whose love language is gifts, receiving a physical object is what they need to feel appreciated. The cost of the item is not important but it must be meaningful. It could be as simple as an item from a favorite place, a dish from a favorite restaurant, or anything similar.


Doing the laundry, picking up dinner on the way home, even making coffee in the morning, those who prefer this love language find actions to be literally louder than words. Paying attention and finding those tasks that make your loved one's day easier will be much appreciated.

Determining Your Love Language

Taking the time to figure out what your and your loved one's love languages are can bring you closer. Does each person in the relationship share the same love language? Not necessarily. Learning each other's language and then acting on that knowledge shows a certain level of appreciation. Does each person have only one love language? Also, not necessarily. Finding where the languages converge might be a little tricky, but paying attention to what your loved one says and does makes a difference.

Learn More

Learning about the various love languages has been a subject making the rounds on social media lately. But, where did this idea come from? You can learn more about the concept by reading the book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman, Ph.D.

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